Quirky.

I don't know about you, but I have always been taught that I ought to respect old people. And although some old people make themselves a bit dis-likable there aren't usually very many reasons to disrespect them.

In general I have a keen desire to get to know the elderly and do my best to be courteous and conversational with them. I will also admit that sometimes my expectations of people are too great but in general I adjust to the fact that, they are indeed human, alright-ly. But it still knocked me a little breathless yesterday when I was chatting with Ruth & Jerry.

They are an elderly couple that comes every single day to Fry'n Pan for coffee. They are always discussing politics and seem to be most often on the conservative end of things. Don't ask me how but somehow she mentioned the death of her first husband which triggered my question of, "So, how long have you and Jerry been married?"

For which she began to explain that they weren't. I imagine some of my shock must have showed on my face. Of which I am not ashamed. It was an honest response. Jerry was sitting reading the paper with a rueful brow right across from her. Behind me I had a feeling all ears were stretched in my direction. The ears being all my co-workers and Tammy, an assistant manger.

Ruth turned determined upon me and demanded, "What? What is your little brain thinking?"

"It's thinking it doesn't quite agree with you." I replied trying to pull myself together and feeling like the people behind me might explode. Ruth raised her brows at me and Jerry sank even deeper into his paper. "That isn't how God intended us to be. I think it's wrong."

Ruth settled herself and began explaining that in general she would agree with me and saw my point of view. Jerry had proposed to her and they would have gotten married but they found out that taxes would change and it would be expensive. If she had been in child-bearing years...there would have been no question about marriage. She would never do that to her child and didn't like the idea of a child out of wedlock. But how it stood it was definitely easier...

It was about at this point that Tammy shouted, "Lydia!" and I quickly excused myself. I had food up to take out but I knew she did it for a deeper reason as well. She was a nervous wreck about getting into an argument with a customer. And probably strongly disagreed that I should discuss anything of that kind in a work-environment.

Tammy said something to me about, "yes, Ruth could be that way and not to bother about it."

"I don't mind, really, Tammy. We weren't fighting..and neither of us minded that we disagreed. It's okay."

I went over to her again to insure that she was alright. Explaining that she had in fact asked me and she replied that she appreciated my honest answer but her situation was just different.

::sigh:: I'm so sad that she doesn't see it as that big of deal. Especially when the reason was monetary.

It was so crushing having an old couple do this. Of all people, they have the most experience and you expect so much more. It is deplorable what state our present generation is in...but really...this is what we have for an example?

There are so many instances in the bible where the elders teach the young. What happened? Do we see this today? Did they give up? It felt so odd telling people at least 3 times my age how they ought to behave.

I pray not. We need to bring back respect and with it the biblical concept of teaching and learning.

Serendipitous

What a stupendous morning. Call me romantic but it was one of those days where you notice that you breathe and are filled with Joy. The sky is brilliant and everything is possible. Trouble does not fade away--but it is laughable. The importance of living surpasses all petty problems. You glory in Creation and just the crazy beauty of life.

These days make me feel invincible and not exactly human. It is when these rushes of life come over me that I do incredibly silly things that seem absolutely sound and sensible in the moment.

It was in such a moment that I stood out in the yard a while back and was griped with the assurity that I was fully capable of doing a front flip in the air and coming back down on my feet.

A rather awkward explanation soon followed as to why I could hardly walk and was coated with dewy grass clippings.

It is this feeling that makes one far too confident - and all day you drop and spill things, yet, everything is still beautiful.

Rejoice and revel in God's glorious creation! For He is the greatest of all Artists and deserves Praise.

Joy.

My darling little sister is 4 years old today.

I can't believe it.

Yesterday she began crying because I wouldn't be at home to celebrate it with her. Not for any selfish reason she just felt terrible that I had to work all day. I remember crying on this very day 4 years ago when she was born. ::laughs:: I was such a little twerp back then. It wasn't any gentle cry either...::sigh::...I was an absolute emotional wreck and I sobbed and physically shook for hours. Why? because my mom was in labor with her for days in the middle of a state-wide ice storm. I had been up for nearly two days when she did arrive and the shock of wonder at being able to see her come into the world was just a little too much on me.

I love you Talitha. Quit growing up so fast!

Tolle Lege

Take and read. Okay, so Saint Augustine wasn't talking about picking up a novel with those words but rather the greatest history book of all time. But The Picture of Dorian Gray is a wonderful book for Christians to read. It shows the utter depravity of man. The book is so anti-God that I was continually laughing with sheer incredibility. It is such a hopeless book but throughout I was sure Dorian was going to change: unfortunately he did...he grew worse. It is also a reflection of Oscar Wilde's own life. Such a tragedy.

Just finished this lovely novel today. Am I missing a few marbles? I'm feeling convinced. It's an amazing health book though, loaned by a friend. Am I about to go hopelessly health loopy? I'm afraid you're going to think so. But it's not a crazy health book. It's wonderfully logical and makes so much sense. The Author, Natasha Cambell-McBride, is a very reasonable writer. And with what I've already tried to cure my health problems...I feel I'm headed in the right direction.

A comedy.

I have not read a lot of Shakespeare but the more I do the more I appreciate him. I use to refuse to read him. Yes, call me a snob. It doesn't take much to be one. But I knew someone who was obsessive about him years ago and had the wrong mental picture of what his writing was really like. I laughed through this whole book.

My sister, Havilah, discovered this book first. I'm not yet finished with it. But everyone should read it. I love it. He talks about birth order and why you are the way you are. He's not a stickler and understands there are variables. Whether you are a first born, middle child, or baby...you'll tend to do certain things but parents, beliefs, and the way you're raised can make some definite changes. Plus, Dr. Leman is a Christian and an awesome, creative, and fun writer.

I think it's a great way to begin understanding other people, your parents, friends, children... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

These chilly cloudy days are perfect for that chair and cup of cocoa. And there are so many delicious book out there.

Decidedly Dithering

Whether it's my age, hair colour, or just fate I know not. I just know that my life is so full of awkward moments that I only get over the last one by having another.

I would be the girl walking blissfully out of a campus door, just as a troop of students walk by, not see the steps descending to the sidewalk, and nearly scrape my face off from the jarring descent.

I would be the employee who is just trying to fill the ice bin when the bucket flies from her hands clattering and rolling and nearly trips her boss as he comes around the corner.

I would be the waitress who is gracefully balancing empty beer bottles on a tray when they all suddenly decide to jump over. Beer is sprayed all over her uniform and while she flushes 7 shades of color, eight elderly couples look disapprovingly over their forks and only receive a penitent sickly smile in return.

I would be the blonde that locked herself out of her car in the drizzling rain and had to be rescued by a compassionate policeman.

I would be the smartaleck telling the cooks what to do while I'm pouring soup. When the soup decides to pour everywhere but in its pan but rather all over the floor and me. The cook happened to think my tragedy was so funny he volunteered to clean the floor and helped wipe everything up while I swallowed the unshed tears of humiliation and laughed at myself too.

And yes, I'm the ditz, who is always in a hurry and as I whip out my pen to take an order has my pen fly up at customers. In consternation I dive for it surrounded by humored smiles.

And oddly enough, most of these things seem to happen when I'm not in a hurry.

Heu! Vita. I understand thee not.

Defending the South

Having a spat with my uncle, who is a staunch defender of Abraham Lincoln and the North. He sent me the Gettysburg film recently as a gift...this is my reply:

Two years ago I began reading many books on The War Between the States. I didn’t just stick to books sympathizing with the South, but I’m afraid the biographies on Southern generals were far more stirring for the most part, although I have always liked Joshua Chamberlain.

I would recommend that you read J. Stevens Wilkins history on this war. Wilkins is a historical genius and has compiled many events which are so often over-looked since the winners write the history books.

In one of his lectures Wilkins points out,

“It has become a common practice for historians to refer to The War Between the States (“The Civil War”) as an “irrepressible conflict.” In reality, the war was not inevitable or “irrepressible” at all. The war was inevitable only to the radical humanists who saw that the only way to bring about the revolution they desired was to destroy the Calvinistic and Biblical foundations which opposed these “reforms.” This meant the destruction of the South. The theology coupled with the political power of the region were THE most formidable roadblocks to the humanistic/rationalistic revolution. The “new order” could never come until the South lost its position and influence. An issue was needed which was big enough to start a war - - that issue turned out to be slavery.”

I agree with Wilkins completely in this: slavery was not the true cause of the war. It was merely an excuse.

Now I am not a fan of slavery and where and how it is happening around the world today is awful and grotesque. And actually, many Southerners were anti-slavery. Of the 130 anti-slavery groups over two-thirds were in the South.

You have my deepest sympathy for being a relative to Abraham Lincoln. But you are not responsible for what your relations have done.

Abraham Lincoln, may he rest in peace, was not the chivalrous president so many historians make him out to be.

He himself stated,

“There is a natural disgust in the minds of nearly all white people, to the idea of an indiscriminate amalgamation of the white and black races…Make them [Negroes] politically and socially our equals? My own feelings will not admit of this…I will say then that I am not, nor even have been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of white and black races – that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.”

I was shocked when I leaned that Abraham Lincoln spoke those words.

Furthermore, in the 1930’s many former slaves were interviewed and many of them had had Christian employers whom they loved and did not want to be separated from. Many, not all, had better lives than free European peasants.

Plus, the North paid black soldiers les than white soldiers of equal rank whereas the South paid them equally.

I do not think war was the only answer to end slavery. But war was the only answer to the North keeping its economic and political interests.

On the issue of racism I find the ones who squeal the loudest about it, are often the people who themselves struggle with the equality of all men. Racism is a problem in our country. And not only against black people but anyone who is different than what we consider “normal.” The media has a lovely ability of being able to bring up the issue on a daily basis so that we continue to think about it in the world’s way, rather than remembering that we are all equally created in Gods image.