In general I have a keen desire to get to know the elderly and do my best to be courteous and conversational with them. I will also admit that sometimes my expectations of people are too great but in general I adjust to the fact that, they are indeed human, alright-ly. But it still knocked me a little breathless yesterday when I was chatting with Ruth & Jerry.
They are an elderly couple that comes every single day to Fry'n Pan for coffee. They are always discussing politics and seem to be most often on the conservative end of things. Don't ask me how but somehow she mentioned the death of her first husband which triggered my question of, "So, how long have you and Jerry been married?"
For which she began to explain that they weren't. I imagine some of my shock must have showed on my face. Of which I am not ashamed. It was an honest response. Jerry was sitting reading the paper with a rueful brow right across from her. Behind me I had a feeling all ears were stretched in my direction. The ears being all my co-workers and Tammy, an assistant manger.
Ruth turned determined upon me and demanded, "What? What is your little brain thinking?"
"It's thinking it doesn't quite agree with you." I replied trying to pull myself together and feeling like the people behind me might explode. Ruth raised her brows at me and Jerry sank even deeper into his paper. "That isn't how God intended us to be. I think it's wrong."
Ruth settled herself and began explaining that in general she would agree with me and saw my point of view. Jerry had proposed to her and they would have gotten married but they found out that taxes would change and it would be expensive. If she had been in child-bearing years...there would have been no question about marriage. She would never do that to her child and didn't like the idea of a child out of wedlock. But how it stood it was definitely easier...
It was about at this point that Tammy shouted, "Lydia!" and I quickly excused myself. I had food up to take out but I knew she did it for a deeper reason as well. She was a nervous wreck about getting into an argument with a customer. And probably strongly disagreed that I should discuss anything of that kind in a work-environment.
Tammy said something to me about, "yes, Ruth could be that way and not to bother about it."
"I don't mind, really, Tammy. We weren't fighting..and neither of us minded that we disagreed. It's okay."
I went over to her again to insure that she was alright. Explaining that she had in fact asked me and she replied that she appreciated my honest answer but her situation was just different.
::sigh:: I'm so sad that she doesn't see it as that big of deal. Especially when the reason was monetary.
It was so crushing having an old couple do this. Of all people, they have the most experience and you expect so much more. It is deplorable what state our present generation is in...but really...this is what we have for an example?
There are so many instances in the bible where the elders teach the young. What happened? Do we see this today? Did they give up? It felt so odd telling people at least 3 times my age how they ought to behave.
I pray not. We need to bring back respect and with it the biblical concept of teaching and learning.
1 comment:
This is indicative of two problems. First, as you mentioned, people seem to arbitrarily exempt themselves from compliance with biblical dictates. Their reasons are always different and somehow God must not have considered them when He made His commands known. Second, why is our tax system set up in such a way that it penalizes marriage? There is every reason to allow couples who marry to benefit (taxwise) as a result, or at very least, not suffer. If you penalize them they tend to do what this couple did. As is the case in so many instances government policy is at odds with Christian values. Go figure.
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