Serendipitous

What a stupendous morning. Call me romantic but it was one of those days where you notice that you breathe and are filled with Joy. The sky is brilliant and everything is possible. Trouble does not fade away--but it is laughable. The importance of living surpasses all petty problems. You glory in Creation and just the crazy beauty of life.

These days make me feel invincible and not exactly human. It is when these rushes of life come over me that I do incredibly silly things that seem absolutely sound and sensible in the moment.

It was in such a moment that I stood out in the yard a while back and was griped with the assurity that I was fully capable of doing a front flip in the air and coming back down on my feet.

A rather awkward explanation soon followed as to why I could hardly walk and was coated with dewy grass clippings.

It is this feeling that makes one far too confident - and all day you drop and spill things, yet, everything is still beautiful.

Rejoice and revel in God's glorious creation! For He is the greatest of all Artists and deserves Praise.

Joy.

My darling little sister is 4 years old today.

I can't believe it.

Yesterday she began crying because I wouldn't be at home to celebrate it with her. Not for any selfish reason she just felt terrible that I had to work all day. I remember crying on this very day 4 years ago when she was born. ::laughs:: I was such a little twerp back then. It wasn't any gentle cry either...::sigh::...I was an absolute emotional wreck and I sobbed and physically shook for hours. Why? because my mom was in labor with her for days in the middle of a state-wide ice storm. I had been up for nearly two days when she did arrive and the shock of wonder at being able to see her come into the world was just a little too much on me.

I love you Talitha. Quit growing up so fast!

Tolle Lege

Take and read. Okay, so Saint Augustine wasn't talking about picking up a novel with those words but rather the greatest history book of all time. But The Picture of Dorian Gray is a wonderful book for Christians to read. It shows the utter depravity of man. The book is so anti-God that I was continually laughing with sheer incredibility. It is such a hopeless book but throughout I was sure Dorian was going to change: unfortunately he did...he grew worse. It is also a reflection of Oscar Wilde's own life. Such a tragedy.

Just finished this lovely novel today. Am I missing a few marbles? I'm feeling convinced. It's an amazing health book though, loaned by a friend. Am I about to go hopelessly health loopy? I'm afraid you're going to think so. But it's not a crazy health book. It's wonderfully logical and makes so much sense. The Author, Natasha Cambell-McBride, is a very reasonable writer. And with what I've already tried to cure my health problems...I feel I'm headed in the right direction.

A comedy.

I have not read a lot of Shakespeare but the more I do the more I appreciate him. I use to refuse to read him. Yes, call me a snob. It doesn't take much to be one. But I knew someone who was obsessive about him years ago and had the wrong mental picture of what his writing was really like. I laughed through this whole book.

My sister, Havilah, discovered this book first. I'm not yet finished with it. But everyone should read it. I love it. He talks about birth order and why you are the way you are. He's not a stickler and understands there are variables. Whether you are a first born, middle child, or baby...you'll tend to do certain things but parents, beliefs, and the way you're raised can make some definite changes. Plus, Dr. Leman is a Christian and an awesome, creative, and fun writer.

I think it's a great way to begin understanding other people, your parents, friends, children... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

These chilly cloudy days are perfect for that chair and cup of cocoa. And there are so many delicious book out there.

Decidedly Dithering

Whether it's my age, hair colour, or just fate I know not. I just know that my life is so full of awkward moments that I only get over the last one by having another.

I would be the girl walking blissfully out of a campus door, just as a troop of students walk by, not see the steps descending to the sidewalk, and nearly scrape my face off from the jarring descent.

I would be the employee who is just trying to fill the ice bin when the bucket flies from her hands clattering and rolling and nearly trips her boss as he comes around the corner.

I would be the waitress who is gracefully balancing empty beer bottles on a tray when they all suddenly decide to jump over. Beer is sprayed all over her uniform and while she flushes 7 shades of color, eight elderly couples look disapprovingly over their forks and only receive a penitent sickly smile in return.

I would be the blonde that locked herself out of her car in the drizzling rain and had to be rescued by a compassionate policeman.

I would be the smartaleck telling the cooks what to do while I'm pouring soup. When the soup decides to pour everywhere but in its pan but rather all over the floor and me. The cook happened to think my tragedy was so funny he volunteered to clean the floor and helped wipe everything up while I swallowed the unshed tears of humiliation and laughed at myself too.

And yes, I'm the ditz, who is always in a hurry and as I whip out my pen to take an order has my pen fly up at customers. In consternation I dive for it surrounded by humored smiles.

And oddly enough, most of these things seem to happen when I'm not in a hurry.

Heu! Vita. I understand thee not.

Defending the South

Having a spat with my uncle, who is a staunch defender of Abraham Lincoln and the North. He sent me the Gettysburg film recently as a gift...this is my reply:

Two years ago I began reading many books on The War Between the States. I didn’t just stick to books sympathizing with the South, but I’m afraid the biographies on Southern generals were far more stirring for the most part, although I have always liked Joshua Chamberlain.

I would recommend that you read J. Stevens Wilkins history on this war. Wilkins is a historical genius and has compiled many events which are so often over-looked since the winners write the history books.

In one of his lectures Wilkins points out,

“It has become a common practice for historians to refer to The War Between the States (“The Civil War”) as an “irrepressible conflict.” In reality, the war was not inevitable or “irrepressible” at all. The war was inevitable only to the radical humanists who saw that the only way to bring about the revolution they desired was to destroy the Calvinistic and Biblical foundations which opposed these “reforms.” This meant the destruction of the South. The theology coupled with the political power of the region were THE most formidable roadblocks to the humanistic/rationalistic revolution. The “new order” could never come until the South lost its position and influence. An issue was needed which was big enough to start a war - - that issue turned out to be slavery.”

I agree with Wilkins completely in this: slavery was not the true cause of the war. It was merely an excuse.

Now I am not a fan of slavery and where and how it is happening around the world today is awful and grotesque. And actually, many Southerners were anti-slavery. Of the 130 anti-slavery groups over two-thirds were in the South.

You have my deepest sympathy for being a relative to Abraham Lincoln. But you are not responsible for what your relations have done.

Abraham Lincoln, may he rest in peace, was not the chivalrous president so many historians make him out to be.

He himself stated,

“There is a natural disgust in the minds of nearly all white people, to the idea of an indiscriminate amalgamation of the white and black races…Make them [Negroes] politically and socially our equals? My own feelings will not admit of this…I will say then that I am not, nor even have been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of white and black races – that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race.”

I was shocked when I leaned that Abraham Lincoln spoke those words.

Furthermore, in the 1930’s many former slaves were interviewed and many of them had had Christian employers whom they loved and did not want to be separated from. Many, not all, had better lives than free European peasants.

Plus, the North paid black soldiers les than white soldiers of equal rank whereas the South paid them equally.

I do not think war was the only answer to end slavery. But war was the only answer to the North keeping its economic and political interests.

On the issue of racism I find the ones who squeal the loudest about it, are often the people who themselves struggle with the equality of all men. Racism is a problem in our country. And not only against black people but anyone who is different than what we consider “normal.” The media has a lovely ability of being able to bring up the issue on a daily basis so that we continue to think about it in the world’s way, rather than remembering that we are all equally created in Gods image.

I raise my eyebrow at date of my last post.

Much like I raised my brow at the last date in my journal earlier. And as generally happens when I don't keep up with my written life in that long, I begin by trying to write it all and end by shooting bird shot. Only hitting a zillion topics by chance and not delving in at all.

It has been a poignant month. I would say bittersweet but that term seems overused.

Granma passed away on the 17th. But her leaving brought almost the whole family together. Excluding one brother, my sister from Scotland and little nephew made it, and my sister from Texas and then my brother and his wife from California. Along with countless aunts and uncles and extended family.

I even made it to the emergency room the night before the funeral. My charming brother and his wife and two of my sisters and of course my parents joined in my excursion. I don't think I've ever been in so much pain in my entire life and my sense of humor was out. I sure hope God granted extra mercy to the people that dealt with me that night because I'm afraid I didn't. My pain was all due to a cyst..

And so, I am thinking that perhaps God is teaching me to Cherish Life.

I love life. I remember when I was 2 and 3 racing around the house breathing, "faster, faster, faster than a butterfly, faster than a motorcycle." For me, life has always meant movement. This method of life has cost me many mishaps and hard knocks. And a tendency to not always think things through.

I'm not declaring myself an invalid. I am far from that. But I have been restricted in the last year and more intensely in the last month of being quite as free and careless as I once was.

Funny how God seems to be forcing me to give up my independent spirit that so many times has refused help even when I needed it. I'm sure it is only the independence that kept me from depending on Him.

And so, now that I have time to sit I realize just how much I cherish life. My granma was 90 years old when she died. 90! That seems so far away. And yet, she often said how quickly time slipped away. And how many of us live to 90?

And it also reminds me to cherish new life. The fact that over 3700 lives are suffocated every day in America alone is sobering.

I have survived Roe V. Wade.

I have been given a fighting chance.

Life is a gift and once taken away it is never returns.

Guard this gift. But use it or it becomes useless.

Cherish Life.