Focus

Years ago my dad was going through The Shorter Catechism with us and in answer to the question, "What is chief end of man?" we memorized "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever." It's only a broad brushstroke of an answer but it is so true. I often find myself asking, "what is my purpose here?" and getting all frustrated and frazzled. If I adjust the question though and ask, "am I glorifying God in this?" it really changes my focus. Realizing that we are to glorify God in ALL things rather than just the really big ones is so vital. In this next year I want to see to it that I do this every day. What a joy to know that as I clean house, make meals, change diapers, constantly cleaning off spit-up and spend time with my little girl and husband I am not only bringing them pleasure at the same time I am glorifying God. Nothing against ministries outside the family - I endeavour to support them as well, but far too often I think the home is not seen as a real and chief place of ministry.

Of Love and Logic

I realize it's human nature to defend and justify our sins...I am as culpable as anyone, and in so doing, recognize quickly how illogical a practice it is. There really isn't a "good" reason to sin, although we frequently do it in the interest of momentary self-gratification, which can easily mask itself as a good reason in a purely emotional mindset. This explains the commonalty of society's defence of immoral behavior; they have a lot of emotional arguments on their side, which may be effective in a secular realm, but will not survive in God's kingdom.

As a Christian, I see the consequences of sin, whether they are physical, spiritual or psychological, as natural boundaries put in place by God. Whether you believe in God or not, you are still bound by the laws of nature on this earth.

When God says, "Do not commit adultery" the fact that God tells us not to do something should be a pretty compelling reason...but we're fallen and susceptible and drawn to the forbidden, which causes us to sin frequently, even though we know there will be consequences. God is a god of love AND logic and He does not give us mindless commands. God truly wants what is best for us. Adultery is a sin, yes, but it also hurts and destroys our marriages, our children and cripples us spiritually. It destroys our sense of trust in ourselves and other people...the consequences differ from person to person, but are all disagreeable.

Adultery is just one example and is rarely treated as defensible, BUT the facts about it remain true for many sins. Homosexuality is one sin which is commonly condoned and even celebrated, and although it is not my intention to write an enormous post on every possible argument surrrounding this issue, I do want to touch on one aspect. I am fully aware of the temptation to sin and why we commonly indulge, but I do not favor arguments in favor of homosexuality simply because “it's what they want/need” and non-support is framed as unloving, hateful and/or unfair. It has been said that they can't “help” being who they are...it is not a choice they are making.

I recognize that some people legitimately struggle with being attracted to members of the same sex – just as some of us legitimately struggle with alcoholism, lying, or pornography...but indulging these sins does not help or heal us. If you struggle with homosexuality, acting on the temptation to engage in homosexual acts is not going to help you. The temptation is not the sin, but the act. If I support and help you in securing what you desire, I am not displaying love when I know that what you want will hurt you. As I pointed out in the beginning, sin has consequences. God condemns homosexuality (1 Corinthians 6:9) and tells us that they will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Supporting, allowing or encouraging people to engage in homosexuality is hurtful to them, and the negative health effects associated with homosexuality are overwhelming.

-Risky behavior is on the rise among homosexuals
-Promiscuity is almost inevitable, multiplying diseases exponentially
-HPV
-Hepatitis (which increases the risk of liver cancer)
-Gonorrhea, which can cause permanent fertility damage
-Syphilis, which can lead to mental disorders, blindness and death
-HIV/AIDS
-High Incidence of Mental Health Problems among Homosexuals
-Lower Life Expectancy....by 8-20 years! One study concluded that half of the population of gay or bisexual men will not reach their 65th birthday

Let me also add that God loves all of his creation and wants us to be with Him. He doesn't cause us to sin or revel in our doing so. His desire for us is to resist temptation and equips us with knowledge and discernment. However, God also gave us free will – which is often when we find ourselves in trouble.

I know there are many issues we could discuss here, but today I just wanted to point out this one and ask you, even if you remove religion, if it is really logical or loving to endorse such personally devastating behavior?

Desire

I was unable to keep my eyes open any longer last night so I finished the last ten pages of That Hideous Strength this morning before getting up. What a delicious book. I can't believe I waited to read the final book in the trilogy 6 years after the first two.

The book awakened in my soul a longing for Heaven. The dreams of childhood fantasy. A wild desire for my own child to read, love, and appreciate the stories which open another world of thought, living, adventure and understanding. A world where good and evil are clearly seen and dealt with. A world of betrayal and courage. A world which appeals to our innate sense of kindness, duty and chivalry. But most importantly, stories which direct, cultivate and prepare us for life everlasting.

I will never forget the impact At the Back of the North Wind (by George MacDonald), The Chronicles of Narnia (C.S. Lewis), Lilith (MacDonald), Adventures is Wonderland (Lewis Carroll), The Phantom Tollbooth (Norton Juster), The Princess and the Goblin (MacDonald), A Christmas Carol (Dickens), Just So Stories (Kipling), The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson-Burnett), The Hobbit (Tolkien), Egyptian and Greek myth and others had on me.

Children think in images and as a parent we can supply what those images will be - whether it's the world of television and computer games or books and games which inspire the imagination to cleave to and grow. Not that any film or television will immediately doom your child to a murky swamp and insipid lack of creativity, but alone, I don't believe it can have the same or as good an effect as hearing stories from their parents or reading themselves.

Though I blush to think of them now, I filled much of my childhood by attempting to write my own stories filled with secret vaults and doors, good people and bad people, just and unjust. Often I had a little brother or sister as audience with the promise that they would take their nap if I told them one more story.

In the meantime, I desire never to grow too old for these stories myself and to fill my bookshelf at toddler level with all of them.

Growing Pains

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You." Isaiah 26:3

It is amazing to me how much the child growing inside has taught and tested me physically and spiritually. It has been a frustrating process to learn that pregnancy exhaustion is like no other and when body and baby demand rest it is near impossible to fight it. One of the hardest things to accept is my complete inability to accomplish a fourth of the things I would like to. It makes me feel lazy, useless, and petty. John has been absolutely incredible in regards to this - never chafing me for what I do not accomplish and understanding the fact that I am sick and tired far better than I.

Mr Drysdale, John's nickname for baby, has taken a recent delight in making me starving and light-headed and demanding nutrition to a feeling of either throwing up or passing out when I do eat. In the meantime constant punches, kicks, and somersaults ensue. I love feeling him move, but the rate at which he keeps it up is amazing. It's probably a warning that he or she is going to be crawling at 3 months and walking by 9 or 10.

With pregnancy also comes a bodily reaction of loose joints....I think I've gotten my full measure.

It is:
-why I dropped my father-in-law's fishing pole into the lake.
-why the olive oil jar shattered on the floor of the grocery store
-why my kitchen floor was splattered in yogurt
-why coffee granules went everywhere but in the filter (times 3)
-why it is treacherous to eat without a bib

Then there is this realization that I do in fact have hormones and am capable of reacting to fatigue in the most extreme and ridiculous girly ways. It was one of those things I swore would not interfere with my life.

Hitting the 3rd trimester over the weekend and Mr Drysdale deciding to go on another growing spurt made me even more aware of how it's suddenly a little harder to bend over, or move quickly, or roll over. Occasionally, the idea of removing your stomach for just a few hours so you can move around properly, sounds rather tempting.

But through all of these many and extreme life changes, I remember who gives me strength and purpose in this world. Right now that purpose seems to mostly be growing this baby and remembering to listen to the whispers of the Holy Spirit.

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." -C.S.L.

In Defense of Men

We women have been on the rampage for our rights in this country for well over a century now. 163 years to be exact since we demanded and attained our right to be treated equally with men. In the name of Equality we accomplished a lot to prove our individuality and ability. Already 118 years since the women of Colorado became the first in the nation to vote legally.

I enjoy the right to vote as much as anyone but I'm afraid the movement lost its motivation to gain equality long ago. We are no longer proving we're "equal to men" but have veered dangerously off that course to an ideal greater than that.

As a Christian, I have never doubted my "equality to men". Why should I? God created us equally, yes, but that has nothing to do with the roles of men and women. How ridiculous and impossible it is for men and women to try and be the same. It can't and won't work. I no longer see women trying to attain equality with men, no, they want to be above men, and worst of all, above any and all authority.

We're so consumed with this goal that somehow it makes perfect sense that we should have control over everything that touches our lives....especially when it comes to pregnancy. It's our body, end of argument. We have a right to do what we wish in this area as well. No matter that the child growing inside us could not and would not be there if half of the chromosomes which formed her were not from a man.

My question is this, why do women have unlimited rights? Why and how does she have total say over how this child will affect its father?

I am a woman and I am pregnant. Legally I have 3 options.

1.) Parent the baby. In which occurrence I can force, if need be, the father to pay child support. In this case, he will legally be recognized as the father and has parental rights.

2.) Make an adoption plan. In which case, under ND law all effort must be made to contact the father and he has every right to either give or deny permission for an adoption. Parental rights totally recognized.

3.) Abort the baby. In which case, not being a minor, I need absolutely nobody's permission. I don't even have to tell its father. He has, to be precise, no parental rights.

Why is it harder to make an adoption plan, where my child could be received and loved by a family, than to kill it? Why am I the sole arbiter of life or death of another human being? And who says when this time of being an arbitrator should end? If I kill my child in utero, I am simply doing what was best for me and my life. If I kill my child when she is 3 months or 3 years, I am a murderer and will be sentenced even if I have the exact same reasoning for my actions in both cases.

It appears that women have replaced God and His authority with themselves. We no longer recognize life as a gift and something to nurture and treasure, but as something we may give or take at will. We need to step down and realize what we have done to ourselves and our men, but most importantly, how we have put God in a box so we can attempt to live our lives free of consequence.

Men need to be just that and take initiative. They were created to take care of and defend women. Not because women are helpless but because women have a different role to fulfill. When we strip men of their ability to protect (yes, this includes their child in utero) a whole slough of problems begin to ferment.

I am frustrated with laws that are inconsistent. Laws which recognize a father in every instance except when it comes to the option of death.

The other day a friend asked me what made me passionate about pro-life. I found the question startling because I'd been muddling about the same thing of late. I was intrigued enough to pose the same question to my mom and husband to see if they had a cut and dry answer....for all of us it seems it was not one experience but a culmination of discussions and realizations which led us to recognize what happens when we accept abortion as a reasonable "answer" to the world's problems. The problems which are culture is experiencing begin long before a girl finds out she pregnant. Unwanted pregnancies are not the problem, the conundrum is how we got there and why we're dealing with the question.

The following is a gist of how I answered my friend:

"It's so funny that you asked about why I am pro-life because I've been thinking about it myself a lot lately. It surprises me in some ways that I am as passionate about it as I am because I have never had any personal experience with it nor did I know anyone who had had an abortion before I got involved.

Part of it is my impulsive nature. When I do something, I'm either involved 100% or not at all. When I did TKD I went religiously every week and did not become involved in other things so that I could concentrate fully on it. I have always been "pro-life" in a certain sense I guess, morally I would have always argued for life.

In 2009 when I went to a camp and actually learned something about the topic and also how I could become involved; I threw myself on top of the opportunity. I felt fulfilled in a certain sense, like I'd been looking to do something of this nature for a long time but didn't know how to find it. God just opened one door after another.

I'm not an angry pro-lifer but what angered me was the injustice of abortion, the amount of lies which are told regarding it, and how many people are hurt because of it. Everything about abortion is so anti-American and to know it happens every single day in this country really troubled me. I honestly believe that most people who side with abortion are not doing so because they are horrible people who like to kill babies but because they really do not understand what abortion involves nor the consequences that surround it from society and families but especially how it affects women.

I believe that how one views the issue of life shapes their view on how they perceive everything else. When I saw how rock-solid John was about being Pro-life and how it affected all of his thinking...well...it kinda made me fall in love with him quite hopelessly."

So yes, I am passionate about being pro-life and I am willing to do what I am able to bring an end to abortion and educate others on why it matters. Quite simply it is a matter of Life or Death. Not just the life and death of precious human life, but of our culture, society and our nation.

Confessions of a Catastrophic Cook

I have loved cooking since as long as I can remember. Not just cooking but everything: planning, thinking of, and modifying recipes, thinking up entire meal weeks, and baking as well. For the past year or two my own diet forced me to exclude gluten and dairy but I have continued to love cooking for the people I love. I depend a lot on my nose and hope between that and my brain I don't end up too off when it comes to taste for many things.

When I have an inkling to make something it won't leave my head until I do. So this afternoon while working at the shop with John I began to wonder what to make for dinner. Home-made pizza like my mama makes immediately seized my brain and I simply knew I had to make that for dinner or John would have to go hungry because I didn't feel I could make anything else.

I have never made pizza entirely by myself - that is one meal my mom has always made herself every Saturday night. On my drive home I began to wonder how I was going to get past the first obstacle, Mum has always had her bread machine mix and rise her pizza dough. I don't have a bread machine. Hum. I called up home and my dad solved the problem and said I should just attempt to put it together by hand like "grandma's rolls".

I did just that, the dough felt really good even though I dared to half the recipe which isn't always the smartest thing to do when dealing with bread. I had the pizza stone in the oven but, alas, no cornmeal. Cornmeal is used on the stone so the pizza slides on and off easily. Another call to mum and we finally decided yeast might work. I decided it didn't have a choice.

Next, I realized I didn't have a pizza paddle to first make the pizza on and then transfer to the oven. Oh well. An upside-down cookie sheet would have to do.

Assembled, my first pizza did look rather dashing. Sauce, mushrooms, mozzarella, colby, pepperoni, parmesan. My heart twitched as I thought about transferring it to the oven. I began to lift it with a spatula but it ended with a heart-wrenching job of gradually pushing and pulling it off and messing up the whole top. Feeling like tears for no good reason I fixed it up as much as possible hating that I had started the project.

Ugh. Why do I get these stupid ideas in my head?

When John walked in I explained, "Well, I made you pizza for dinner but you can laugh at it when comes out because it looks horrible."

A minute later I pulled it out. John breathed, "Mmm, that looks great."

I examined and disagreed.

But

He said it tasted good, really good. He didn't even let it cool down but burned his mouth several times just because he wanted to eat it so much. He continued eating until half of it was gone. I kinda like my overly appreciative husband.

I prefer to have things look and taste good....but when you only have one option, I guess taste is better than look.

Nevertheless

No more pizza until I have a pizza board and cornmeal.