Saturday, September 5, 2009

It truly is so much easier to say than to do.

How many times have I begged God to prepare me for whatever purpose He desires me for?

Many.

And now, perhaps I am waking up to the realization that perhaps I have been whining and rejecting His preparation.

We say, whatever it takes, Lord.

Little realizing just what this may include.

And so, up until this very evening I have rejected and scorned being sick. I have been so frustrated by it. Every time I think it's gone away I either come down with something else or the same symptoms return.

Since last winter, I have been plagued by some sickness or another. Then, being sick from Brazil morphed into being sick with allergies, followed by a sty, a cold, and now a flu. Including my eczema breaking out from eating one dairy product.

It is so hard not to ask, "why me??"

It is so easy when not feeling well and being extraordinarily tired to be out of temper, to complain, to not trust God for His healing and strength.

How crushing it is to realize how many times I turn down the opportunity to glorify God. To accept this cheerfully, with the knowledge that, He will never leave me nor forsake me. We are to praise God in sickness and in health. Not just when we see He has fulfilled our wishes.

Perhaps it humors God too, when he sees just how often he has to employ means to humble us.

2 comments:

DAlexander said...

John Piper has a whole chapter on "Suffering" in his book, Desiring God. Though its main focus is on suffering under persecution, he makes a strong association with insights for personal/physical suffering as well. I think you would appreciate...
Mrs. R
(Don't know if I'll be able to publish this comment or not... I don't have a blog.)

Lyd said...

Thank you so much!

It is always refreshing to realize theologians have actually written on these topics.

I'll definitely look into that.